This Other Eden

love.

2006-10-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

wow jus realised how long it has been since i last posted.

Haven't really been in the mood to blog honestly.

But i shall spare this extra effort to post something encouraging for my dear.

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived;
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others., including Love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean.
So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.
Love was the only one that stayed.
She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment.
When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat.
Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"
Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you."
Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.
Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please.
" I can't help you", Vanity said,
"You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by.
Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you."
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."
Then, Love saw Happiness.
Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you."
But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.
Love began to cry.
Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me."
It was an elder.
Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.
When they arrived on land the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder.
Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"
"It was Time", Knowledge answered. "
But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.

hope it cheers you up =)

p.s dun say i always post things to hurt you indirectly ah

back.

2006-09-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

I'm back with a new template. so things have been pretty messy in my life right now.

to be honest im getting desperate. i dont know what to do. i'm jus wasting away right now.

i hope she comes online. got lots to say to her today. and maybe i'll drop by tmr.

back from game. hmm i haven't study at all today. man i think i wasted 2 days already. hopefully can join tw and the rest in studying.

gotta settle it now. hopes

hello

2006-09-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

Hello its me again. Has been quite awhile since i've posted.

Well the reason im awake this late was cos i slept really late last night. Slept at 3 am completing the video for the class. The twisted thing was MR K DIDN'T EVEN COLLECT IT.

screw seriously. but then again. the class had a good laugh so i guess it was worth it. ms lim was really sweet over the whole thing. let me sleep in class lol.

gonna soccer tmr. including studying. shall watch abit of anime tonight =D.

current pipsy's sleeping now. suppose to wake her up at 12. but how can i bear to do so...

shall enjoy this cold silent night (not emo). been raining alot the last 2 days. weather's really nice. Today while eating tako (the best), jy said he didn't like walking in the rain.

but since young i always enjoyed jumping into puddles. its like a whole stereotype to jump onto puddles in wellingtons. do they even call it wellingtons here. Man how much cartoons influence me.

maybe i'll catch a game or two.

this concludes the month of augest. A trying month for us. But den again we turned out fine =)

IM OUT

ps. he pi pi

.

2006-08-27T01:16:00.000+08:00

sigh. i had enough of begging

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2006-08-13T03:18:00.000+08:00

Haven't done this in quite awhile. 3.14 already. I'm gonna try to sleep now..

wanna sms but scared wake you up. lan lan cant do anything

So here i am wondering

2006-08-13T01:36:00.000+08:00

what the hell am i doing here at 1 30 am in the morning.

But i cant help it. Rested the whole day. Really can't sleep.

So stuff happened today. I don't know why people keep bombarding me with questions. If i'm sick i'm sick. The only thing i'll geng is school. damnit.

why can't anyone just stop asking questions.

My mother even better. thanks to my awesome! stomach. I threw up dinner. No i'm not anorexic or anything.

She scolded me lol.

LOL WTF SHE SCOLDED ME.

KNN i got lots of nasty thoughts but hell...

when your angry you do stupid things. I shall refrain from doing that.

So yup i missed ps. I'm gonna hear everyone talk about it tmr (actually today) and its gonna be just great. But hell who else can i blame but myself.

DUNWAN LISTEN DEN DON'T LA.

true...... to be honest i got nothing to say against that..

Actually i'm hella exhausted... Past few days really tested my energy. Pretty drained now. Its like each time i eat its tiring. Isn't that really sad..

i'm tired all the time now. I'm hardly my normal self anymore because i'm tired.

tired tired tired.

wanted to share stuff with you but you weren't so encouraging. plus i didn't want to dampen your happy mood.

kidding. I already know i ruined it.

Ah i'm gonna try to find a game den try to catch some sleep

Current Update on my Life Situation

2006-08-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

My friends, I've been hit by a bug. It could be more then a bug i dont know. But my throat really hurts and i got a fever 24/7. so bad i cant sleep. For the pass few days i've been waking up at 3 and staying awake till school starts.

Yes your right its a shitty experience. I thot today i could post stuff like the things i've learnt through this experience. But no i can't. Simply because I haven't recovered. Its so bad its making me spell all my words FULLY.

I've missed Megalympics. And to much of everyone's disbelief, I was truely looking forward to it. And from the current situation, it looks like I can't go for tomorrow's PlanetShakers.

There's is no amount of words that can express my grief and heart pain now. For month's I've been anticipating it. Because from previous years I have heard legends about it. But now.

Truely Madly Deeply angry with myself.

A last attempt would be to take my medication and try to sleep now.

Oh and before I forgot, there has been one person who has (note its not past tense) been with me all the way. Even to the extend of waking up at 3 with me.

=O=O

By the way it started on tuesday, it has been going down down till friday (today), and it is going down. I hope someone notices the pattern.

=(=(

and the person likes "=O mom's curry" (make a lucky guess)

ty dear...

the art of tearing water

2006-08-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

To be honest, logging into blogger then making a proper post is difficult. My mind is jumbled up all the time and its messy.
So what i'll do is put this notepad file on my desktop. each time a thot comes to mind i'll add a line in.

That way i'll stop making stupid posts.

The time now is 9.26. Jus came back from night study. Its kinda noisy but when your serious you can really learn. i didn't really learn but i was helping jy

and leo. I wont use the word coaching as it means im better then them which i am really not. Man even here i have to watch my use of words

sometimes even a ... at the end of your words make you sound sad or frustrated.. yeah... see what i mean. Sometimes i jus wan to drag my words. sometimes its

because the people around me can really feel i'm sad.

so far only one person can feel i'm geniunely sad. I certainly hope its not be cos their paranoid all the time =).

Well i decided to walk back from school. The long way. toook 45 mins lol.

But i didn't feel tired at all. It was when i sat down after getting home when i felt the pain. Quite the opposite. You know the sayings you'll only realise

your loved ones after you lost them and all that. I think this somehow qualify as a saying. lazy to phrase it up.

its all about phrasing up seriously. I'm sure Kuhendran would agree.

brb

"stretch forth your hand to me, and pull me out of this bottomless pit(after today im gone) says:
sian la keep losing dota =(
Eureka Seven | dreams come true after all says:
haha
Eureka Seven | dreams come true after all says:
i dont mind playing one now

"

dota game =D,

okay back.

Well i did something embarassing on the way back.

I saw a puddle and water and i jump onto it, tearing it =) (sorry too embarassing, decode it)

i guess alot of things came to my mind. am i really that hard to understand... must try you know.. your best.. really really your best. i definitely know im

trying my best. you?

I kinda screw up my surprise today. I requested for tuition to be at 4, was really happy when everyone said yes. For a slightest moment i wanted to spike u, make it at 3. Only around 2 seconds.. But no way am i going to start it again. I've learnt =) so i managed to changed to 4. But i kinda phrased it wrongly and got misunderstanding. haha so much for trying to be sweet. I made someone sad again.

i'll upload this on blogger for now. quite lengthy already

till then

I guess

2006-08-07T16:04:00.000+08:00

dreams comes true after all

dedicated my life

2006-08-06T20:17:00.000+08:00

Started the day nice, had a daily dosage of something. I love sundays, and wednesdays and this tuesday and maybe friday. I think your starting to see a pattern

==============================================================
THE WHOLE ISSUE ON PEOPLE WHO SUPPOSE TO GO JC COMING TO POLY
==============================================================

is really getting on my nerves.. I hear people say, whats the point, they also going to take our place. I say our because i belong to the poly group. And because of that they slack and not bother about studying.. Why am i pissed of even tho it has nothing to do with me. Because it does. People now start to generalise about us.

Man it shouldn't discourage you from studying less, but studying more. To show you deserve it.

People say i dont understand, because i can study. Man the main point is study, study, study. Try to, learn to, force yourself to study.

Even my parents tried to study.
==============================================================

well off topic.

NDP IS COMING.

cheers

22/22

2006-08-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

And on the 22 of every month i'll be very happy. Cos it jus means one more month we're been together..

you mean alot to me.. -hugss- =) first time on blog i think i did this.

I REALLY HOPE NO ONE ELSE SEES THIS

hehe not that i mind..

i'm not sure why u made me do 22 posts. but i'll keep my promise.. i know i broke my promise never to suggest a b u.. but i did the last time. so im trying hard to keep my promise now. even if its something as silly as this.

okay thats all for now. i'm out

21/22

2006-08-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

i'll always get anxious on the 21 of every month =x

20/22

2006-08-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

twenty is when i gotta wait two more days to celebrate =)

19/22

2006-08-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

wow btw got error. i saw 17 as draft so 18 came out first den i type out den error it come out after.

(THIS COUNTS AS ONE POST IM GETTING DESPERATE)

18/22

2006-08-03T23:50:00.001+08:00

gastric coming back..

got a bad feeling this time.. like its not gonna jus go back to normal that easily again....

17/22

2006-08-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

-imagines you making the sad face on your birthday-

hehehehehehheehhehe

16/22

2006-08-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

take five is a nice song. shall upload to this blog some day.

OMG FEW MORE MINUTES TO 4 AUGUST?!?!?!

(counts as a post)

15/22

2006-08-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

omg........... 18 more min..

MAD TIME.. HAHAHAHAHAHHA

14/22

2006-08-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

A few more min. Btw happy bd he xun. sorry i kinda ran out of subjects. THIS COUNTS AS ONE POST

13/22

2006-08-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

To be honest i'm feeling very revived now.

=) we didn't erupted into a fight today. we're certainly moving the right way.. slowly but surely dear =) heehee

i hope none of my friends view this blog. let them see this side of me O.O

12/22

2006-08-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

okay rampage. i got less then 50 minutes left. chiong time.

So kinda worried about math tmr. I mean after going for tuitions and all.

BUT I SHALL FACE TOMORROW WITH A SMILE =)

(cos your there dear)

11/22

2006-08-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Man i cant be slacking. halfway thru..

This is really much more difficult then i thought. Man i'm just going to turn back one day and laugh at myself. But if it makes you smile its worth it =)

so tomorrow's plans.. Tuition tmr night.. hmm.......................................

its not like its a weekend. Not weekend = school.. i wonder how things will be like after secondary.

================WARNING=====================

FOR PEOPLE WHO CANT STAND SWEET THINGS PRESS THE X AT THE TOP RIGHT NOW

===============WARNING======================

hmm i wonder if can still see you.. ahhh its just so far. shall jus do my best so can go anywhere your going =D

woooo...

i'll be realistic.. thats the only plan i have for now. I dont wan to hear people saying you sarcrificing for me doing things you dont wanna do. i shall be the one adapting. 11 MORE POST

10/22

2006-08-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

I jus read your blog.. =) shall be there for you.

I jus realise one thing. you sow negative things you reap negative..

erm i mean you sow negative feelings you get back negative feelings.

get what i mean.. So i'm gonna try to be more positive..

raed ym traeh lla sruoy oot ^^

9/22

2006-08-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Well since i'm trying to get more post.

Shall blog about studying.

ALRIGHT I SHALL ADMIT NOW. I'VE BEEN LAZY.

Man and all that prelim coming and all. Not only am i sick of hearing it, i'm even sick of typing it.

but its true.. so from now onwards no matter how tired i am. i shall jump at every chance to study in school.

Man where am i going to get all the enegry from... everything is only sucking energy...

8/22

2006-08-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

time is never on my side.

you know the way you jus put a brave or cool front when the person is there. but when his gone you just crumble.. you sorta regret.

hell i've past that stage. but its kinda like coming back to me.

i wonder if my friends will laugh at me if i become emo.

who cares. 14 more left

7/22

2006-08-03T21:28:00.000+08:00

People might be wondering what the hell am i doing.

Im degrading my blog with worthless post.. Actually i'm just trying to keep a promise..

Hell what are promises anyway. you only make them when your happy. i'm kinda trying to prove that wrong and prove that its wrong for other people too..

Shall fight against time and sadness.

man this reminds me i shall talk abt emo the next post

6/22

2006-08-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

HOlY %^#% i jus realised if i go by the half an hour rule i only got till 12. which is 5 more post.. Mehh gotta keep posting and posting. Its gonna get really pointless and my words like drone on... and on... and on...

5/22

2006-08-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

Looking forward to the weekend.. Going Jurong East to get mp3 player fixed. Hope i got enough by the end of this week. I hope they don't just replace it.. It not it'll lose its meaning

4/22

2006-08-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

AHHH I guess I can't sleep after all. With things this sensitive now, if i were to sleep and wake up in a bad mood its gonna happen again.. Shall persevere abit longer..

Man dont i just miss those days where i could do what i did best =D

3/22

2006-08-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

Lol i realise this is more difficult than i think it was. Shall use abit of cheap tactics to make it easier.

WILL CONTINUE AT 10 PM AFTER I GET SOME SLEEP

(this post counts as one)

2/22

2006-08-03T16:09:00.000+08:00

A few of my everyday reads.

Questionable Content. Nice comic

Also quite nice. daily read

got me hooked on anime

20 more post... shall post every half an hour to make things easier

1/22

2006-08-03T16:05:00.000+08:00

To be honest i'm not really in the mood for this. But shall keep my promise.

First post out of 22.

Cyril Takayama. His an extremely talented magician. Half japanese and americian he was raised in the US.

this is my personally favourite =)

!!!

2006-08-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

Since u always say you read my blog i'll use this as a good opportunity.

DUN BE SAD DEAR!!

=( sorry thats all i can say cos i dont know much now.

But i know your gonna tell me later. Cheer up! I'm here for you (8) -nods-

and you know i'm sad when your sad too...

getting tired of?

2006-07-27T17:45:00.000+08:00

You know how scary getting tired of something can get. Like you used to really love this song. But a few weeks later when you hear it, its not interesting anymore. despite how nice it was or how you were feeling when you heard it. It just doesn't you had tomean alot anymore. Yup.. Its scary.

To me one of the scariest phrase is 'i am very tired already.. and i know your tired too.' really i mean it. Its scary to me.

Its scary when you put alot alot into something. And you get tired of it. All the effort and energy is wasted.

When i read that you dont know how much longer u can hold on. Its scary. I guess your not jus threatening me, but your really tired.

But i hope to get one thing straight.. Its not like im asking for trouble or anything. You always give me things to doubt you in. From a small matter it turned into something big again. I hate it when that happens..

I wish our relationship could be more transparent. After the last fight.. I agreed to really start being honest. I wish you could be too..

Thats why when u asked another chance yty. i was kinda surprised..

From the way you were sounding.. i thought you had reach your limit..

Everyone has a limit before they finally dont care about the matter. and yup jus drop it.. like completely not care about it anymore.

Maybe my limit is really long! But i know your reaching yours soon.. If you aren't.. please dont say your tired

time to get serious.

2006-07-27T16:02:00.000+08:00

alright i've decided. for today. 4 30 till 7 shall be studying geog. enough of getting distracted

wednesdays

2006-07-26T21:21:00.000+08:00

I'm really afraid of wednesdays now. Its pattern is repeating itself.

Wednesdays will start out perfect and happy, and end up in serious disappointment. It has happened the third time in a row already (not saying its anyone's fault)

i dont know whats wrong with me. But even up to now i still dont understand why you didn't show me the messages. I asked countless times, u promised later. In the end promise wasn't kept. Oh well.. i had a surprised planned you see. When u showed me yours i'll swap you with mine, and there were a few surprise msges in my fone =D. but nvm. im not gonna show it anymore. z

yay there's chem self study tmr. shall serious up. i can feel the tension as everyone is indulging themselves with self study. its my turn. maybe everyday after school i shall go =D. except the sad day of course.

FOP coming. anticipating that. other then that there's no other events gonna happen. boring sad life..

IM BACK

2006-07-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Alright enuf of hiding away. I'm back officially. I bet only one person reads this blog now but who cares thats all that matters. I kinda stopped blogging as i had nothing to say or i was worried of offending people.

screw that im back. time to mega post about anything.

today marks the start of hungry ghost. I dont remember ghost being IT savy but then again even teachers know how to read blog. BUT FREE BISCUITS FOR ALL!

that being said try to refrain from taking any tidbits. they aren't meant for us.

Yay tmr's wed. best day of the week imo.

I should be doing homework now.. shall try math. man i dont really enjoy math. who does anyway.

I like chinese tho. Why doesn't my school have higher chinese classes. gotta go other school. we always gotta travel here and there.. man......

2006-07-20T15:57:00.000+08:00

i haven't been this sad for the longest time.

something

2006-07-19T16:25:00.000+08:00

There's something i need to get off my chest if not i'll be uncomfortable.

So i woke up today at 6. sorta dozed of the previous night i thot hey maybe i'll make up for it today. didn't really arrange the time but i guess our normal time would be okay. sms to ask for the time. but nvm i thot i'll be on my way. i left my house at 6 50. cab down as usual. thats when my blood turned cold. "Thought you didn't wanna meet me on wednesdays alr."

i told the cab to turn back. no way, am i going to spent time with someone who doesn't want it

disappointing.

2006-07-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

Man i have been blogging for the longest time. Disappointing. Its dead. Gotta try to revive it. Putting a blogged after your msn nick is disappointing.

I scored a 10/20 for geog, disappointing.

Knowing that something is being treated more impt den you is also disappointing.

Saying you disappointed me shows how big of a disappointment i am.

looking for a dota game is disappointing.

fighting is disappointing.

wanting to die is disappointing.

making a post based on disappointment is disappointing.

This is starting to lose sense. I hate today. disappointing day.

shall play game till tmr. you disappointment

post 22.

2006-07-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

Yes this is the 22nd post. I'm used to deleting blogs dependant on my mood. Gotta change my bad habits. Making decisions based on mood is always a bad idea. (you might want to take down notes).

Drinking milo after eating a mint sweet is also a bad idea. Altho is has nothing to do with anything im gonna talk about.

Wait, i dont know what to talk about. Who cares we'll make up content as i type. We as in us as in me only.

btw msn live is such a buggy program. sharing files is bugged offline talking is bugged. "BUG DEN DONT SWITCH LA KPKB FOR WHAT". Well everyone's using it. I cant view alot of things if i dont use it.

Things you give up for being in sync with the world.

So i've hit the 100 mark for dling songs.

Downloading xxxHolic. what is it about.

that goes to my second tip. If you want people to know wad your talking about and its not some sick inside joke. Link. People are jus too ****ing lazy to google it.

That comes to the third tip. Dont swear in your blog. People dont like it.

And another thing that pisses me off. Saying your not trying to be emo, but then talking in an emo way. Doesn't justify that your not emo. tip 4. pisses people off.

its like saying not like im trying to be cruel, but you look really retarded. Get it? If you wanna say something, say it. dont justify it.

Its not that i'm trying to make fun of you people, im jus trying to point out your mistakes. Kidding. Irony.

its hard to just simply say things. I like simple english. It doesn't mean bad english or lazy style of writing. Jus simple english. Not bounded by sarcasm or hidden meanings. I mean coming from me

I'm an expert at that. Friends would know.

Man. One person i respect because of his straight forwardness is leonard.

Leonard Lim. Talk to him and you will know. His damn honest. you dont need to worry about him talking bad or being sarcastic.

There's no one else i know that wont do that.

So its 1.40 now. Hungry actually. I got this conditions that forces me to eat small but frequent meals or i will get gastric. Win. No other solutions.

Man i lack space. Not freedom or some restricted rich brat who complains her (lets not generalise here) parents are not giving her freedom.

SPACE AS IN GIGABYTES. I have been procastinating. Damn i even procastinate in buying things. When i get the money i spent on other stuff. I jus broke my $50 note on cds. I resisted many times not to use that note. Man..

So now i'm camping watching my anime and waiting for the right time to appear online.
Stomach grumbling.... But yeah nothing else to do.

Suck thumb and wait

thing that hit me

2006-07-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO jus completed studying physics. (with the help of my special someone =D)

Nothing much to blog about.

The thing that hit me the most was the 222 i love you.

had one of the worst days in school.

2006-07-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

Relax, its not because i suddenly hate people or things went wrong for me. Well it sorta did.. I suffered a really bad gastric attack today. When i woke up i knew i was gonna have a shitty day. But yeah still went to school as usual. Things gradually got worst. And things took a turn for the worst.

Since geog, i couldn't stand. It would really hurt. As usual i pretend nothing happen. Maybe only the people around me could notice.

Lol but they think i bad mood, mood swing =x.

cheers. time to gulp tons of med again.

/endpost of the shittiest day of my life

proper blog post la

2006-07-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

Alrighty. Time for serious post.

I'm currently living in fear. This immense fear that can make a person go insane. The possibility of losing everything in a day. People always ask what are the tell tale signs of real problems. By saying real problems i mean differciating between small problems, and those that can develop into something scary.

This is how mine start.

(9:45 PM) tab: hey do you have christian songs to send

Very very dangerous. It looks so harmless. So fragile, nothing can possible spawn from it. I mean, its like a child, there's nothing to be afraid of.

BUT NO.

I ended up having to dl a total of 60 SONGS. 60. HAHAHAHAHAHAH 60 HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH LOL LMAO ROFL HAHAHHHHAAHHAAH shotacon.

But yeah i dont really regret la.. Helping is a good thing. Besides she agreed on a terrific lunch treat. I dont really have prove of that but i think i deserve that at least.

For those who think doing that is cheap. Try saying that at 4 am.

If anyone's gonna get arrested for downloading its me.

Wait thats dangerous.

GUYS i admit that i didn't download. I just went to store and bought all the albums legally. Serious.

I guess this is a blessing in disguise. I went back to church recently. I guess its time to change a habits. (going next week again)

HERE I COME KIMBERLY

I've gotten really lazy recently

2006-07-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

Love.

2006-06-28T19:37:00.000+08:00

Love is not selfish
So love is not about being happy
It is to make happy to whom you love
Even if your unhappy about it

confession

2006-06-26T19:07:00.000+08:00

I LOVE PRISCILLA!

heya

2006-06-24T02:18:00.000+08:00

here i am again. as promised i'll blog while your gone.

I didn't do much today.. Tuition as usual. Helping com stuff as usual. Ahem if you realise someone has a new blog skin =D.(not me)

I can't really do anything else.. I dont know whats wrong with me..

Hurry dear..... come back..

Day 1.

2006-06-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

So as promised, i'll blog everyday till you return.

Woke up at 5 45 today... I kept tossing and turning. I had a nightmare about ghosts lol.. Hella scary but i kinda forgot the details. Z

Went for geog today. Paid attention of course.. Gotta teach you when you get back.

So today i went to a friend's house to fix the com. Lol after a few hours of trying.. I kinda failed.. I went to use the wrong installation disk. It was for my laptop cant use on other coms.. Huge mistake.. It was only until 10 plus i realised.. Too late had to try again tmr. I dun know why im so depressed now.. Hella exhausted lol. (already suffering without you ahem)

That aside. Everyone is going kz house now! but parents dont allow cos i told them late. Oh well i'll complete hw tmr. I'll turn in abit earlier today.

Till den...

2006-06-20T00:59:00.000+08:00

hell...... what qinghui said really made sense to me now

Im back

2006-06-18T19:00:00.000+08:00

Hey all. Sorry for not posting for such a long time. I'm not dead. I'm going to post more often yeah.

Well its just that many things happened in this past 2 weeks. Trust me its really really a lot. My poor self almost couldn't handle it, but hell i did(actually we did) and yeah we're a much better couple now. Seriously. hehehehehehehhehe

so i jus came back today from playing pool (just an excuse). Spent hundred plus on pool... (just an excuse) but hell its once a year and i wanna do something great for her.

So i've been sleeping at 5 for the past 4 days? Watching 'world cup'... alright thats about all i can say. Sorry alot of personal things happened..

i miss eating...... (ahem the other meaning of course dear)

holiday

2006-06-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

This is one heck of a holiday.... drained me completely =D. But learnt alot really.

my life story

2006-06-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

People often ask me, what keeps you going.

Well I'm finally going to answer that question.

When i was in primary one. I met this girl. Well we didn't really take notice of each other, as we sat very far apart. After all we were just in primary one. How far could we think?

Then in primary 5. Dec holidays. It was the first time i logged into msn. And ever since then i got hooked onto it, for a good reason.
Everyday i would talk to this girl, without fail. Well after all, it was just talking. Nothing really serious, we joked alot. As in really alot. It was fun. She always told me everything, and i told her everything in return.

I always rmbed when one of our favourite songs were playing on 98.7. we would without fail msg each other at the same time saying, HEY ITS YOUR SONG. I loved it.

Then in primary 6. Things got a little dark. She was unhappy over her PSLE results. She hated shss, she really hated it. She was under huge pressure, from her class since it was em1, from her parents. She always msged me. Pouring out her sorrows to me. I did my best to comfort her. The secret was, my psle score was lower =).

I said a prayer. I told God if he put her in my class, i would be faithful to him. All the way.

She wasn't. She ended up in 1c. Better then not being able to see her.

Then we drifted. We drifted the furthest we could. We completely forgot about each other. Or so we thought. We never spoke to each other anymore. It was her life and i was leading mine.

I had someone else. But we broke up.

The reason we broke up was because, i was unfaithful. I was still looking out for her even tho i was with someone else. I still wanted her.

I hurt two now, and im not an incredible guy. Im not proud of it of course.

But we got closer. It was a mistake i made.

She always passworded her diary x. I had this urge to get in and read about her life once more. i hacked in. Because she trusted me with her password 2 years ago. I still remembered.

The things i read, shocked me. The second biggest shock i'll ever get. She was still thinking about me. She was living very unhappily, because of me. I couldn't believe it. At all. A guy like me. Someone was worried and concerned about a guy like me. It made me go insane.

Because for once, someone loved me not because i loved the person. But because she wanted to.

I told her i wanted her to be mine again. We were sort of together. We never talked, we never met, we only smsed. How sad was that.

That was the second part. I didn't know i was hurting her. I was a loser hiding in my shell, afraid to meet people. I left it hanging, but she never told me. How sweet can a girl get really... To care so much about my feelings. Saying things like i dont deserve it isn't enough anymore.

So one day kevin chin asked me. So hows your progress. Wad have the two of you done. It shocked me again. I hated to answer, nothing. I haven't done anything for her. Yet she still wanted to be with me. It really hurted me alot. What is this girl thinking.... being so selfless.

so on the 22 of august. I ask her if she wanted to be my stead. She said yes. and she was happy.

I WAS ELATED. i mean it, i was happy of the happiest. i really was the happiest person on earth. i mean it.

Then around a few months later. She was angry. Because i was still the same. I thot i had moved. But i was still in the same place.. I hadn't gone out with her, i hadn't talk to her before. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME

anyone reading this or have known would laugh. If you were her friends you'll laugh at me.

I told her, i would change for her. Because i almost lost her. I really did. She told me she didn't want to continue.

I told her, i couldn't lose her. and i would change. and i really did.

for the next few months, i did single thing i could to make her smile, i went out with her, bought her stuff.

Then it happened. My first time holding her hand. I know everyone would laugh. This child sick boy, holding hands only. No big deal. Its alright its true i guess. =) i did it. I hesitated like crazy. But i told myself. If you dont do it, can you risk losing her again. I told myself no.. and i did it =)

followed by our first kiss and hug. I wanted to make her happy, and make sure she was getting all the attention she needed.

Then a few months later. Alot of fights broke out. I didn't meet her as much as i wanted to and i was angry. I was jealous over her friends. I was really scared. Because i saw people replacing me. I saw people spending more time with her. And i got afraid. I tried. But i was always unable to be with her. I got really scared.

I started treating her bad. I started saying untrue things like she's changed and treated me coldly. I didn't want to sound stupid by saying, hey im jealous over you spending more time with your friends. How about me.

But i was wrong. It wasn't her. It was me. I was getting too protective. Trying to control too much. I wanted to take over all her freedom. And I didn't understand it.

Until last night. She told me it was better to stay as friends. My world ended.

I cant express it anymore. As much as i can write and express myself. i cant this time. It was desperation. I always wondered. Who the hell would commit suicide. I mean wads the worst. losing your job. no future. So you dont need to kill yourself.

But i understand it now.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I will tell you what keeps me running now. It isn't money, it isn't friends. it isn't having fun, it isn't religion, it isn't family.

Its priscilla.

The moment she told me she was leaving my world. I got scared. To every extend i was scared.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't. I was really really scared.

So now. tonight im going to meet her. I'm going to tell her im sorry. and im going to act like how a real bf shld be. Im not going to get jealous. Im going to trust her now. And i've learnt.

So i'll post this before going. I want everyone to witness. what i said.

Priscilla im sorry if i've hurt you. Even if you reject me tonight. I'll still protect you. and i'll wait.

so to everyone whose reading. you can hold this against me.

hypnosis hearing

2006-06-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

Okay this is really messed up. Bored as i was, i went to listen to this hypnosis audio file. They claimed even two minutes of it made you sleepy. So in the background there's a creepy guy giving instructions and all.

THE MESSED UP PART WAS, i dozed off. I wonder if there's any brain washing effect. I better play some games to reserve the effects. A MONSTER HAS JUST BEEN BORNED IN ME.

If anyone posts here after this, its the monster

wasting time

2006-06-10T21:45:00.000+08:00

Hoooooooooo. I woke up at an unbelievable time today. Haha seriously its time to kick this habit of mine. I'm wasting time away.

This coming monday i got this 4 hour tuition. Desmond say its better for us to absorb. (Actually he just wans to watch world cup the next day so he can sleep more in the afternoon) To be honest, even tho its stupid. I ENJOY TUITION. Well let me explain.....

There's no explanation. His funny, and i learn. So yeah its a fruitful time. I think you gotta love the subject to do well in it. But i dunno why i love chinese i still in clb.

Today while searching for Anime to download (legally of course). I came across boys be. I loved that anime. I lend it to lai pao. and she claims she returned it. BUT I CANT FIND IT. So i went to download again. Man it brought back a lot of memories.

here a link to what is it.

The soundtrack, is amazing. I love it and i am hearing it( which i downloaded legally too).

So i didn't study much today. I HAVE TO STUDY SOON. Man i need motivation. I hate to hear and say this but o levels is coming and blah blah blah study study.

I guess i haven't played enough.

mixed feelings now. sigh i dont know.. i'll jus try yeah

everyone is watching world cup now. left out lol

Changes for the better.

2006-06-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

Yay I completed all my homework other then history! Finally managed to get work done.

So a few things happened, but i'm sure things changed for the better =). Everyone is carrying on with their life and i must to. So we're gonna study on sunday while i fix that bypass for kenneth.

I might give riverlife a try i guess. I do need a church after all. But not tomorrow. I'l go next sat. Gives me more time to prepare for tomorrow. I don't know why i stopped going to church. Maybe it was because of the stress. But yeah its gone now. Time to stop backsliding before i am finally sent to hell.

Everyone's watching world cup now. But my sisters are watching so i can't. its jus the opposite happening. Sigh...

So i'm gonna complete a few series and get over it.

lift joke

2006-06-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

Good evening blog. Had physics today. Wasn't so bad, i guessed my practical got betta. Ahh i keep procastinating about me going to study. I keep saying i'll

wait i'll wait. I guess i'll start on sat. With friends of course.

8 pm
We bought the 9 slot for cars. Kinda excited about it. We took the lift down the ntuc for the usual smuggling of drinks. At the 3 floor, the floor suddenly

shaked, a woman commented 'I think the lift going to break down' and she got off at the first floor. Okay den suddenly. AT B1, EVERYTHING STOPS.

So people panicks and we give instructions here and there on what to do. We were told on the intercom to stay calm as help would be coming. Followed by jokes

about death. There were 16 people in the lift mind you. SIXTEEN PEOPLE. Imagine how stuffy in there it was. Plus all the lights. Man it sucked

8.30 this guy gets irritated because he was supposed to bring his little girl to a clinic. He presses the intercom and shouts 'GIVE ME THE CURRENT STATUS

NOW'. THERE ARE OLD PEOPLE AND CHILDREN HERE. ISN'T THE SOP 30 MIN. And he starts with his army terms. TELL ME THE CONTINGENCY PLAN.

The security guard goes okay calm down, they'll come in 10 minutes. Please calm down help is on the way. And he man shouts, 'YOU BETTER BUCK UP'

YES SIR. NOW CARRY THE RICE BAGS INTO THE TENTAGE. SGB IS HERE.

jk.

Well for me. Everyone was bitching so i tried to shut them up. Could see the couple beside me was getting irritated.

I cant deny thots of death came to my mind. Jokingly, i imagined what would happened if i died there. It would be more of a joke? Dying in a lift. Lol no one

would believe. Dying with friends. Well its a nice idea but friends aren't there to die with, their there to help you live a better life. Jk that sounded

stupid.

what would i do if i really died there. Not really what i could do since i was dead. What could i have done.. Well im not going to say everything here.. But

i'm sure people know what i'm thinking about =)

=( or so you thought. i was scared

2006-06-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

So I woke up pretty late today. Had a good sleep tho. Felt kinda shitty over what i read yty but i got over it. Worst has yet to come. Have you ever had a day that was bad because someone made it bad, and this person makes it worst?

I am experiencing it now. After a usual jy lagged out game. My mother told me that i wasn't getting a new fone because i excedded my sms for the 12 month and she instead got me another sim card. So now i got two. HOOOOOOOOOOO.

Well it really didn't matter. But your comments did. Seriously dont know what is wrong with you nowadays. Stuff that you say or promise gets forgotten the next day. Thanks for ruining 2 days in a row

I'm gonna go colin and kero to convince myself that life is still worth living.

(If your seriously not going to work so am i)

insane hour

2006-06-07T17:19:00.000+08:00

So its 2.07 now. Insane... Everyone's asleep except me. Man I'm tired but yeah insomnia. Kinda sucks.. So the next few days gonna be busy. Gotta get stuff and all. Not much time left i guess. well gonna play more.. sigh dont wanna talk about it. I hate reading things ignorance is bliss. Sorry for this short post.

p.s blogger down. will post in the morning.

midnight post

2006-06-05T01:07:00.000+08:00

HEEEEEEE. I am 16 years old now. I CAN LEGALLY DO IT! Can you believe the urge i had to purge. I see other couples do it. But we couldn't legally. We wanted to try. But we decided it was too risky. We would get into trouble if we got caught. I can't imagine what her parents will say. So, i have finally waited till today! I'M 16 I CAN WATCH NC 16 MOVIES LE. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

(lol)

So its 1.11 now. Just had my special someone sing me a birthday song.(pipsy dear)
It was really sweet.. Miss her even more. Its like chocolate singing to you, very sweet.

I expected to spent a quiet one. Well things turned out different honestly. And for once.. i dont regret being born.

so next time wan to beo people play pool, you know who to look for

bd

2006-06-04T21:33:00.000+08:00

So its 2h30min to the next day. Not that it really matters =p. So here i am pondering what should i do tomorrow. Its kinda sad but i won't think about it.

Alright off with the negative thinking.

ACHIEVEMENTS. WHAT HAVE I ACHIEVED!!.

post will be continued at 12 to make it more exciting

1st june

2006-06-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

HELLO. First post!! I'm gonna keep this blog till O levels end. So to those who know i like to close down blogs, rest assure. To those who actually still link me, please update. 472 is back to force you to admit your wrong